To Kill A Mockingbird

All I can remember about the book is the cover art, it was written be Lee Harper and there's a lawyer with some children involved. 

All I know is after being serenaded by a mockingbird for several months now, I am ready to kill a mockingbird. 

At first the erratic song of the mockingbird amused us as we fell asleep. At 11:30pm we knew the birds were going to start chirping and singing away. Yes, that was not a typo, we thought we were hosting a bird party every evening. We even joked that they were macaws who got lost on their way to the Caribbean. 

As the evenings became warmer we started to open our windows in the bedroom and that was when the real torture began. The macaws were merciless. They sang their battle songs and drank beers all hours of the night. The three of us couldn't sleep. It became a game to go to bed before the macaws started their nightly binge. Falling asleep after they started was impossible. 

Never did we imagine it was one bird making all that ruckus. 

My neighbor and dear friend was at my house a few weeks ago and I began to complain about the nightly frat party in my backyard. In her quiet wise way she looked at me and smiled and explained that it was a mockingbird. 

A mockingbird?

You mean that bird in the lullaby? 

Hush little baby
Don't you cry
Hush little baby don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird

Why would you ever want to buy a baby a mockingbird? 
That's the worst idea possible. They are loud and obnoxious. Did I mention loud? 
Three nights ago Sadie couldn't sleep. The macaws (okay, just one mockingbird) yelled festively through the night keeping Sadie in a constant state of awareness. Every sound was an excuse for Sadie to open her eyes, sit up and demand milk from me. That was the night I declared war. 

The next night Logan and I went outside and used a flashlight to instill the fear of g-d into the bird. Using terror tactics of a light in the eyes we told him he needed to stop this business, if he wanted to sing he needed to do it during the day with all the other birds on the property. I threatened to kill him even though realistically I will never do it. I even shook my fist at him several times to let him know I was serious. As we walked away he started to mimic the sound of the alarm on our front door. Now we sleep with the windows in our bedroom closed. 

Altmans: O; Mockingbird: 1