This morning Sadie and I were at Trader Joe's making some last minute purchases before cooking for Shabbat. We played peek-a-boo, we stared at samples, we pointed out food that looked exciting and had an overall fun time. As we were leaving the store Sadie noticed a four year old boy eating a lollipop. Sadie's right index finger high jumped out of her lap and intimidatingly pointed at the kid. A wail was heard throughout Carlsbad. Sadie wanted that candy. I told her "no" and quickly pushed the shopping cart out of the store and far far away from the two little girls standing by the door sucking on candy canes. "God I hope she doesn't see them," I murmured to myself in frustration.
We made it outside. Air. No candy in sight. I looked at Sadie expectantly hoping she had forgotten about the candy. I was wrong.
"YUMMY!!!!" She yelled at me.
Sadie believes the word yummy means (1)food and (2)something is tasty. When she is hungry she yells yummy. When she sees food she desires, she yells yummy. When I'm eating something and obviously enjoying it, she asks me "yummy?"
The word yummy gets a lot of play in our house.
When she yelled yummy at me I knew what she wanted. It was definitely not the fruit snacks in the shopping cart. And it certainly wasn't anything in my purse. It was that damn lolly. I firmly took the matter in hand and told her "no."
I'm a hero, right? Well, poor dolly got the worst of it. She got CHUCKED out of the shopping cart in a moment of frustration. Usually I pick up whatever toy Sadie throws and give it back to her. This time I decided things were going to change. I grabbed dolly while Sadie was not looking and hid her in a shopping bag.
This is the part I admit I lied to my daughter. I don't like to do it and I do very rarely. Sometime little white lies are necessary to save my sanity. For instance, we have run out of chocolate/ice-cream/cookies/etc. to spare Sadie the burden of eating sweets until she goes into a sugar coma. Now, if I make a promise to Sadie I keep my promise. I rarely use lying as a means to get myself out of trouble. However, this time, I needed Sadie to learn a lesson.
As we approached the car Sadie asked about the whereabouts of dolly. I shrugged my shoulders and told her dolly left. Dolly walked away with a broken heart after being unceremoniously thrown from the shopping cart. She loved Sadie but couldn't live with someone who cared so little for her well-being. I'm not sure how much Sadie understood. She did understand there was no dolly. We spoke about dolly the whole car ride home. I made up an entire story of dolly finding a new home and a new friend and missing Sadie but knowing it was all for the best.
The conversation went something like this (and when I say something, I may have added a few details upon introspection):
Me: "Dolly loves you but she had to go. You hurt her feelings when you threw her from the shopping cart."
Me: "Yes, Dolly may or may not need years of therapy for this separation but we all agreed it's for the best."
Me: "Look Sadie, I can't change what has happened. You messed up. Dolly had to leave."
It's been hours and Sadie has not seen dolly. I know I need to bring dolly back; however, I want it to be a joyful reunion where Sadie realizes the error of her ways and apologizes profusely to dolly.
This might also be one of those moments when I have asked Sadie to stop splashing me in the bathtub a hundred times and she continues to splash while laughing devishly so I decide to teach her a lesson by splashing her back ONCE and she freaks out. It could be one of those moments.
In November we brought home two puppies. Yes, two of them. No, I don't recommend it. I love my puppies but they are a handful. It's not two dogs, it's two puppies. Two baby doggies figuring out the difference between what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do. Two puppies potty training. Two puppies pooping and peeing all over your house. Two puppies crying all night because they don't want to be in the kennel. Two puppies vomiting when sick. Two puppies jumping on you, chewing your stuff and not listening.
Between Sadie and the two puppies my hands are full. Recently Logan fenced off part of the yard in order to give me a break from watching the puppies and preventing them from destroying my house all day long. Since they now spend the day light hours outside my life has improved. In the evening, when we are in the main part of the house they can lounge in the living room; otherwise they stay in their kennel and rest after a fun filled day of chasing each other, barking at birds (and motorcycles) and digging for gophers.
I can proudly say my puppies sit and come on command (if and when they see a beautiful shining treat in my hand). They love to lick Sadie clean after she eats. They love to have their bellies rubbed and are an excellent addition to our life. Welcome puppies, welcome.
However, the past two nights have been filled with puppy whining and barking. Two nights ago I dragged myself out of bed to deal with it and had a doggie who wanted to go potty outside 3 in the morning. Last night I ignored the pleading and this morning we were greeted with diarrhea from two puppies. No bueno. Thing 1 and Thing 2 have also destroyed nearly all the plants in the front yard, chewed up my crocs that were sitting outside and somehow found my $600 nightguard and chewed it. That was the ultimate offense to me. MY NIGHT GUARD??? The one piece of plastic in the house that would upset me if it disappeared. All of Sadie's cups sitting around the house, ignored. Night guard? Chewed to tiny little pieces within minutes. They are lucky I like them as much as I do.
I was warned that a puppy is like having a newborn. I will admit that it is not a one-to-one similarity but there is something to the argument that puppies are more than a handful. They certainly can be overwhelming when you throw a toddler into the mix who attempts to destroy anything you do. Leash training? Well, Sadie will throw a tantrum because I forbid her to hold the leash and pull on them for no reason. Cleaning up pee from the floor? Sadie will step in the pee you just told her not to step in and when you yell at her she will fall face forward into the pee. Unfortunately when that happened yesterday my patience meter ran dry for the day. I continued my day with a frazzled bitter smile and counted down the hours until Logan came home.
Moms, if you're bored and need something to destroy your things, eat your time and give you a headache - get a puppy. And just for fun, get two.
I like Chanukkah. I know it will never be as cool as Christmas but it's a good holiday. It's an awesome story about Jews that fought back, used those sexy muscles and won us a victory. I think it sends a great message that we have to work for our miracles - God can't save us from everything. God made the oil burn for 8 nights but we had to fight to get our temple back.
Logan and I decided we wanted to encourage Sadie to enjoy Chanukkah. This of course entailed cool presents and latkes every night. Sadie's favorite part was the chocolate gelt she ate in unlimited quantities. I am fully enjoying the days she prefers to have money she can eat rather than money she can spend.
As part of the fun Sadie helped us make latkes and sufganiyot. She wanted to wear the apron with only her diaper on. I couldn't argue, it was too cute to complain. Instead I took a series of photos enjoying the moment!
It's January and it's winter time. Snow. Blizzards. Rain. Ice.
Well, it's winter weather somewhere in this country. Lucky for those of us in SD, the weather is gorgeous. It's summer in the middle of winter. The sun is out. The birds are singing. The trees are green and lush. The branches on the apple tree bend with the weight of fruit. Loquat flowers give way to buds. Life is happening around here. It's been a shock to my system to be faced with summer so early this year. We had several weeks (if not a month) of winterish weather. Cooler sweater weather, peek-a-boo sun - not the kind of weather that encourages playtime outside. When fall transitioned to winter I mentally went into winter-mode. As I like to say, I go into hibernation.
When I used to live in Chicago winter was the time I gained 10 or so pounds, ate a ton of carbs, slept strange hours and struggled with depression. Never seeing the sun during the day was not good for my mental well being. The school bus picked us up before the sun was out and dropped us off after the sun left for the day. Obviously life is different here in San Diego. Winter isn't the same. However, when the weather is no longer pleasant outside, I like to hole up in the house until spring. This year I started playing video games again. I hadn't played any video games in over four years after quitting. Having a full time job and a busy social schedule, video games began to compete with my need to sleep. I decided sleeping was a healthier and more productive option. Now that I'm home all day with Sadie (and she naps, God bless her soul) I have time to go into fantasy land.
I used to be an avid reader. I read every fantasy book I could get my hands on. The problem with reading now is I can't read in the same manner that I used to. When I was immersed in a book, I would wake up and start reading, eat and read, go to the bathroom and read, ride the bus and read, eat lunch and read, come home and read and spend the whole night reading until the book was done. As you might imagine, that doesn't quite work out for me anymore. So I've quit reading for now. I can't have Sadie demand my attention at all hours of the day while I have a book calling for me driving me insane.
But video games are awesome! I don't have to remember all the characters, I can pull away and know that the game is paused and will remind me of my quest when I return. I can live in a fantasy land with magic and dragons to get away. And the best part, I am able to accomplish goals and feel satisfied. Motherhood has taken away the external acknowledgements I use to receive in school. Video games, strangely enough, have brought them back. When the virtual character congratulates me on accomplishing my mission, I bask in the glory of my awesomeness. Yes, I am a geek. Proud and loud.
Well with the sun forcing itself on us in January I can't keep us locked in the house. I bought zoo passes and we have actually gone to the zoo once last week and once this week. I also signed up Sadie for a class (one that I want to write about in another post) once a week for an hour. In an attempt to manage the loneliness I feel with my best friends all living far away from me, I am reaching out to new friends and making play dates. Sadie and I go to the park, we visit friends' in their homes and we invite people to play with us at the homestead. I have kept us busy all in the name of not going stir crazy being home all day. Sadly, I have neglected our house. I am grateful to have a husband who picked up the slack and managed the chaos for the past month or so as I took a vacation from cleaning. I hate cleaning. HATE CLEANING. Especially when I have a baby running after me undoing anything I've done. So I quit. Our house became worse and worse until Logan couldn't take it and spent hours putting it together. Now that it's at a manageable state I've been picking up messes and keeping it from deteriorating again.
I try to plan the week ahead of time and set myself some type of schedule. This is 180 degree turn around for me. I am not a schedule person. Sadie wakes up when she wants to and goes to bed when she wants to. She eats when she's hungry. We play everything by ear. I hate planning vacations, days, hours or minutes. I am not a planner. I'm a drift on the wind and see where I land type of person. Unfortunately this type of lifestyle has resulted in bouts of depression and unhappiness. These experiences have motivated me to take charge of my days and plan an activity daily. It's been awesome for my happiness and I have found myself energetic and happy. Who knew the more I had planned the more I could get done?
Staying busy. Having goals. Planning my days. It's epic what a change I have experienced.
Meet the Blogger!
I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world.
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