Stop Touching Her

I am a people pleaser. I want everyone in the room smiling and at ease. It is an unfortunate insecurity I am working on. My sweet three year old daughter is NOT a people pleaser. In fact, she is the exact opposite. She cares little if anyone likes her or not. Coming back from a playdate she let me know that "some kids like her and some kids do not." I was floored.

When I was a kid (and in some days as an adult) I felt like every kid in the room did not like me. It was very difficult making friends. I preferred to read versus making friends. I was painfully shy and would hide under my dad's jacket at parties. I did not make friends easily.

Sadie also takes her time making friends but she doesn't take it personally. She watches the room, examines the people around her and lets herself acclimate before associating with anyone.

Recently my people-pleasing ways and Sadie's anti-people-pleasing ways have come to a head. I want Sadie to smile and say "hello" and "goodbye" to people we meet. If I am friendly, I want her to be friendly. Instead Sadie looks at most people with a stony expression and if they compliment her she makes a face and turns away her face away.

My daughter should wear a shirt that says "DIVA: Do not speak to." It's like she's a member of Madonna's entourage.

I hate the way she behaves but I accept it. I sort of laugh nervously, shrug, mumble something about kids and move on.

All of this behavior has been acceptable; however, recently, we have come across a bigger problem.

People want to touch Sadie. Older women especially want to touch her hair or her arm and she freaks out. Sadie starts to screech in frustration and make faces. Yesterday an older lady was helping me find a pair of glasses. When we were done she tried touching Sadie's face while mentioning how cute she found Sadie. I did not know what to do while Sadie screeched and turned her head other than mumble something about kids and gently prod Sadie along helping her avoid the woman.

This has happened on more than one occasion.

I don't want to be rude and tell people to not touch my kid. I also want to support Sadie and her desire to not be touched.

This is becoming an issue I don't have a real solution to unfortunately.