It's January and it's winter time. Snow. Blizzards. Rain. Ice.
Well, it's winter weather somewhere in this country. Lucky for those of us in SD, the weather is gorgeous. It's summer in the middle of winter. The sun is out. The birds are singing. The trees are green and lush. The branches on the apple tree bend with the weight of fruit. Loquat flowers give way to buds. Life is happening around here. It's been a shock to my system to be faced with summer so early this year. We had several weeks (if not a month) of winterish weather. Cooler sweater weather, peek-a-boo sun - not the kind of weather that encourages playtime outside. When fall transitioned to winter I mentally went into winter-mode. As I like to say, I go into hibernation.
When I used to live in Chicago winter was the time I gained 10 or so pounds, ate a ton of carbs, slept strange hours and struggled with depression. Never seeing the sun during the day was not good for my mental well being. The school bus picked us up before the sun was out and dropped us off after the sun left for the day. Obviously life is different here in San Diego. Winter isn't the same. However, when the weather is no longer pleasant outside, I like to hole up in the house until spring. This year I started playing video games again. I hadn't played any video games in over four years after quitting. Having a full time job and a busy social schedule, video games began to compete with my need to sleep. I decided sleeping was a healthier and more productive option. Now that I'm home all day with Sadie (and she naps, God bless her soul) I have time to go into fantasy land.
I used to be an avid reader. I read every fantasy book I could get my hands on. The problem with reading now is I can't read in the same manner that I used to. When I was immersed in a book, I would wake up and start reading, eat and read, go to the bathroom and read, ride the bus and read, eat lunch and read, come home and read and spend the whole night reading until the book was done. As you might imagine, that doesn't quite work out for me anymore. So I've quit reading for now. I can't have Sadie demand my attention at all hours of the day while I have a book calling for me driving me insane.
But video games are awesome! I don't have to remember all the characters, I can pull away and know that the game is paused and will remind me of my quest when I return. I can live in a fantasy land with magic and dragons to get away. And the best part, I am able to accomplish goals and feel satisfied. Motherhood has taken away the external acknowledgements I use to receive in school. Video games, strangely enough, have brought them back. When the virtual character congratulates me on accomplishing my mission, I bask in the glory of my awesomeness. Yes, I am a geek. Proud and loud.
Well with the sun forcing itself on us in January I can't keep us locked in the house. I bought zoo passes and we have actually gone to the zoo once last week and once this week. I also signed up Sadie for a class (one that I want to write about in another post) once a week for an hour. In an attempt to manage the loneliness I feel with my best friends all living far away from me, I am reaching out to new friends and making play dates. Sadie and I go to the park, we visit friends' in their homes and we invite people to play with us at the homestead. I have kept us busy all in the name of not going stir crazy being home all day. Sadly, I have neglected our house. I am grateful to have a husband who picked up the slack and managed the chaos for the past month or so as I took a vacation from cleaning. I hate cleaning. HATE CLEANING. Especially when I have a baby running after me undoing anything I've done. So I quit. Our house became worse and worse until Logan couldn't take it and spent hours putting it together. Now that it's at a manageable state I've been picking up messes and keeping it from deteriorating again.
I try to plan the week ahead of time and set myself some type of schedule. This is 180 degree turn around for me. I am not a schedule person. Sadie wakes up when she wants to and goes to bed when she wants to. She eats when she's hungry. We play everything by ear. I hate planning vacations, days, hours or minutes. I am not a planner. I'm a drift on the wind and see where I land type of person. Unfortunately this type of lifestyle has resulted in bouts of depression and unhappiness. These experiences have motivated me to take charge of my days and plan an activity daily. It's been awesome for my happiness and I have found myself energetic and happy. Who knew the more I had planned the more I could get done?
Staying busy. Having goals. Planning my days. It's epic what a change I have experienced.
Meet the Blogger!
I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world.
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