A few weeks ago I made a recommendation to a friend regarding a doctor. Okay, the word doctor is used loosely in this context. He is an Osteopath, in his own words: "Doctors of Osteopathy (D.O.s) receive the same basic training as medical doctors (M.D.s), but they also learn manipulation therapies (hands-on adjustments of muscles, bones, and ligaments) and use these in addition to more conventional medical treatments." I can't agree or disagree whether they have the same basic training as M.D.s or what that means; however, he came highly recommended so I did not hesitate to pass on the recommendation.
Two weeks later my friend approached me and the look on her face was priceless. Her expression was a mixture of shock and denial. Immediately I realized this was a review of the Osteopath I had recommended to her.
"Esther," she began, her voice rising several decibels and her eyebrows bleeding into her forehead, "this guy was a quack. A TOTAL CRAZY. He is nuts. Completely nutty."
Instinctively I moved away. My eyes darted nervously looking for an exit route, my palms became sweaty, guilt started to diffuse throughout my body. The guilt part is normal and happens throughout the day. I don't think I have ever gone a day without guilt - my father did a great job of installing guilt into my bones. I was in trouble. It was an exciting kind of trouble where I was not sure how bad and how deep that situation had become. It was all going to be a surprise. So I did what any normal person would do, I stepped in closer to hear the scoop.
"It was crazy. My friend wanted to leave immediately. The guy had crosses everywhere! EVERYWHERE! Fine, we're not into that but that's okay. A healer is a healer, I was willing to give it a chance. But, it was just nuts. He closed his eyes and did this head shaking thing," she then proceeded close her eyes, hum, shake her head and place her hands side by side with the palms facing the floor. I, in my quest to come off not looking like a quack sponsor, piped in, "oh, energy work, sure, that's normal stuff. It's energy healing."
"Well, yes," she responded, "but then he just spent the whole time talking to us about nutrition and food and he didn't fix the problem. He also repeated we needed to come again. Again? AGAIN? How could he even think we could come again. And did I mention the crosses everywhere? Even on the ceiling there were crosses. It was too much. And nothing was resolved. He didn't even really care about the issue or address the issue while we there."
At this point I wasn't sure what to do. On many levels the situation was hilarious. I sent my extremely religious Jewish friend to a very religious Christian healer. Her and her friend spent $45 on being lectured what to eat. They were not one step closer to dealing with their situation. I may have inadvertently turned them off from trying alternative methods of healing. So I did the only thing I could, I laughed. The situation was too ridiculous. Out of respect for my friend I am not even writing all the details of the situation but this was like a bad Jewish sitcom.
Thankfully she absolved me of any blame. However, it led me to think that it wouldn't hurt to think twice, three times, a hundred times before recommending a doctor to anyone. Or, maybe, my new rule should be I can't recommend someone unless I've also used them. And more importantly, does this rule need to be enforced in all areas of my life? Does, in some weird way, repeating someone's recommendation fall into speaking lashon hora (the old gossipy gossip)? Is it gossip to repeat someone's opinion to another person, even if I am not naming the source?
WHAT IS THE MEANING TO LIFE????
Okay, this may or may not be the best way to end this blog but that's all I have for today.
Meet the Blogger!
I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world.
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