Live Blogging

My friend left her son at my house today for 8 hours. I have two kids under the age of 3 in my house. 
I have a knot of stress in my stomach. 
I now know the meaning of fear. 

This will be a mock-live blog experience. I will update with my experiences as they happen. 

7:40am Jessica drops off Shai. 
7:40am Sadie starts screaming and fake crying from the bedroom to get my attention. 
7:45am Jessica is trying to explain things to me. Sadie continues to yell. 
7:46am I look at Jessica with fear and tell her to go, I will take care of Sadie. 
7:48am I am changing Sadie's diaper. Shai is playing quietly by himself. 
8:00am I am giving Shai and Sadie yogurt. So far everything is manageable. 
8:10am I offer grapes to Shai and Sadie. I originally wash grapes and put them in two bowls. Then I re-evaluate and put them into one bowl. Sadie is trying to grab a grape from the bowl Shai has conveniently placed out of reach of Sadie's grasp. Shai decides he's done with grapes and brings me the bowl. I tell him we will leave it on the table but he thinks it's a terrible idea. I let him know that there are more grapes and not to worry. 
8:13am Shai is yelling. Sadie has grabbed Shai's special moose. This looks like a disaster in the making. We put Mr. Moose (I couldn't understand what his actual name is) on the bar and everyone relaxes. 
8:15am Shai is picking up toys, Sadie is trying to take those toys/offer him new ones. No one is happy. 
8:25am Shai starts telling Sadie not to touch things. He is very particular about how my things should be handled.
8:30am Sadie gets frustrated at Shai, walks up to him and yells. And then yells again. And then again. Shai then yells back at her. I just walk away slowly and sit down at my computer. 
8:40am All is quiet at the Altman residence. 
8:42am Sadie starts fake crying. She wants to nurse. She's upset. Traumatized. Okay, I let her nurse. 
8:50am Shai and Sadie are bored. BORED. BOOOOOORED. 
8:55am They are sitting quietly pretending to eat a fake challah. 
8:58am Shai starts telling Sadie "no bubbles!" Sadie brings me the bubbles. They are both boooored. 
9:00am I gave up. They are now watching How to Train Your Dragon. And eating snacks. Shai is sharing his Bamba snacks. Sadie is sharing her grapes.  
9:15am Shai brings me the empty bag of Bamba. He also has Toy Story in his right hand. He lets me know the movie was scary and he'd rather watch Toy Story. 
9:20am They are both watching Toy Story. It's quiet in the house. 
9:22am Sadie is bored and playing with her toys. Two minutes of Toy Story was enough. Shai is blissed out. 
9:26am Shai is bored of the movie and now playing with popup toy. 
9:35am Toy Story stops working. 
9:40am Shai picks Thomas the Engine on Netflix. I realize Shai has a poopy diaper. Logan is leaving for work, I ask him to change Shai's diaper. I realize I haven't changed a boy's diaper since I was 13. I was petrified. A poopy diaper. A boy's poopy diaper. I think of who I can call to help me. Logan runs away as fast as possible. I consider asking my neighbor to come over and help me. 
9:47am I decide to grow up and go change Shai's diaper. It wasn't at all as bad as I thought it would be. Before starting I requested for Shai not to pee on me. He didn't. He helped. He continued to watch his show and everything went well. 
9:59am Neither Shai nor Sadie are watching the show. Sadie is sitting at her table and Shai found a binkie in her toys and is now sucking on the binkie. I also realize my house needs to be cleaned badly. BADLY 
10:03am Sadie starts to scream for no reason. Shai decides to mimic her. Thomas the Engine plays in the background, ignored by both children. 
10:04am Shai asks me for water. I walk to the couch to grab Shai's cup and i see a big stain on the couch. I immediately panic thinking I didn't put Shai's diaper on correctly and check his pants for pee. His pants are dry. Now i'm confused. I ask Shai repeatedly how the couch gets wet and he tells me waa-waa and I have no idea where the waa-waa came from. A mystery for another day.
10:07am Shai gets grape juice in his sippy cup. I can't find a sippy cup for Sadie. She demands grape juice. I give her grape juice in a cup. I hope I won't regret the decision.
10:18am Sadie is eating fries and ketchup. Shai won't go near it. Shai wants more grape juice. 
10:20 I call Verizon to deal with some cellphone issues. My best friend calls me on the home line. Verizon is on speakerphone, best friend is on the cellphone and my brain is about to explode from listening to four different sources of sound.
10:48am Sadie ate 1/2 an avocado, so did the couch. 
10:54am Finally off the phone with Verizon. My phone won't work. Both kids are going antsy. Sadie has a poopy diaper. I contact my neighbor and setup a playdate. 
10:55am I am looking for Sadie's shoes. I am putting shoes on Sadie. Then Shai. We go off to Melissa's house to play with Josh and Kadee. 
10:55am - noon We play on the swingset. We dig in the dirt. We pet a bunch of chickens. Sadie dunked her hands into Sherman's water bowl. Kadee waded through the water bowl afterwards. Joshie got put into timeout. Shai went butt first down the hill. He also refused to walk down the stairs and wanted to go butt down the entire set of outdoor steps. Shai is covered in a layer of dirt dust. 
Noon Sadie fell at the gate. She almost hit her head on some concrete. We walk to the house, find some grapes on a table, picnic has begun. I bring out the fries, cut up some watermelon, bring out drinks and everyone is happy.
12:16pm Shai is bored. I bring him toy soldiers to play with outside. Annie comes outside to play with us. Sadie decides to eat my lunch. 
12:19pm Sadie drank Shai's water after filling the cup with grapes. I give Shai new water and Annie proceeds to drink it. Annie starts to eat the fries out of the bowl. Sadie throws her treat into it for good measure. 
12:22pm Sadie fell, she's crying. I bring treats that Shai and Sadie proceed to stuff Annie with. Then they both start to eat animal cookies. 
12:27pm Shai is done being outside. He goes in to play with a puzzle.
12:33pm Sadie and Annie are inside. Annie starts to eat food off the floor.
12:41pm Sadie nurses. Everyone is quiet and happy.
12:42pm Sadie is underneath the table and repeatedly hitting the top of her head on the table. 
1pm Sadie proceeds to meltdown. Annie continues to look for food on the floor. Shai starts to get upset about his elbow and needs me to kiss him to make him feel better. 
1:15pm Shai digs his nails into Sadie's arm. I have to talk to Shai about not hurting Sadie again. I'm starting to wilt. This is hard work. Very, hard work. 
1:54pm Annie went home. Shai and Sadie are bored. I turned on some fairytale show on netflix. I think both kids are going to pass out. I know I am ready to sleep. 
3:00pm Sadie has been freaking out for the past ten minutes. She is on our bed and refuses to actually nap. She had fallen asleep on me and Shai needed me to get him something so I transferred her on the bed, she woke up and started to flip out. Shai wanted a snack. He finished his apple sauce and then asked for another snack. I offered him cheese but he didn't want it. Then I offered him some fries and he was all about it. Oh and Shai says snack like nap. So I kept on trying to turn off the cartoon and he kept on saying "no SNAP" which I figured out meant snack. I'm a genius. Not really. I have a hard time figuring out what kids are saying. And Sadie is making gagging noises while crying and demanding my attention. One more hour to go and then Jessica is taking her son and new daughter home with her. I need a vacation from this mommy business. 
3:32pm Sadie refuses to fall asleep again. Shai is demanding another cartoon. I am falling asleep. I am planning on napping when Jessica picks up Shai. 
3:47pm Sadie is sweeping the floor. Shai is drinking grape juice. We're in the home stretch. 
4:32pm Shai is with his mommy. The last hour was when everything started to fizzle and meltdown. Shai started to cry, big tears running down his cheeks that only stopped when I sat him on my lap and read him a story. Sadie, of course, had to join Shai on my lap and then proceeded to pet him - something he didn't care for. So they got into a fight while I am trying to read them a story. These type of things continued until Shai's mommy came over which is when Shai decided to really have a meltdown. 

Having two kids around the same age in your house at the same time is insane. Shai is a good kid, quiet and calm; however, mixing him with Sadie resulted in tempers flaring and egos coming out. Thankfully my house isn't worse than when Shai came over and the only real lasting effects of having two kids in my house is a horrible headache that is threatening to become a migraine. I hope you enjoyed this live blog experience.