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Faking Frum

3/9/2014

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We live in a religious community. Logan will be attending a very religious Yeshiva after Pesach. I had hoped I would be able to continue dressing the way I have since living here. I primarily wear skirts below my knee, a t-shirt and a headband. Yesterday a group of women in their sly and cunning ways, primarily by asking me if I was married or looking at me with disgust, let me know I was unwelcome if I didn't dress to the community standards. 

I have to now take on a completely new way of dressing. I am intimated, stressed, worried about pretending to be someone I am not. I have to fully cover my hair (I am permitted to show a bit of my hair if the headwrap isn't tight against my forehead), wear clothes to my collarbones and skirts below my knees. 

And this is the bare minimum way of dressing!!!!

I don't have to wear stockings all year round, painstakingly cover every strand of hair with either a cloth/hat or wig, wear only dark colors or stop wearing nail polish. 

Logan has a very religious cousin I called and asked for advice. I shared with him my humiliating experience and he wisely suggested dressing to the community standard if I want to have a good time in the community. 

I want Logan to maximize his Yeshiva experience. I want to maximize my experience as well. I am drawn to the religious community, unfortunately that comes with a price. For the time we are here in this community, I will embrace the community standard of dressing. I have decided to consider it a great social experiment. Can I do it? Can I spend the next five months dressing super Orthodox? 

And if not, there is always Tel Aviv where I can wear a t-shirt and let my hair fly free in the wind.
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1 Comment
Rebecca L. McCarthy link
3/9/2014 03:45:37 am

"What they call you is one thing. What you answer to is something else."
--Lucile Clifton

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    I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world. 

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