One of the biggest concerns I have regarding living in Israel is the Jewish custom of married women covering their hair.
Some groups expect women to cover their hair entirely, some are okay with only some of the hair covered, some wear scarves and others wear wigs. There is a great variety of ways to cover your hair; the only constant is the requirement you cover your hair when married. Last time we visited Israel I covered my hair with a hat or a scarf whenever we went to a synagogue or a religious community. I did not want to stand out or offend anyone so I covered my hair out of respect for the customs followed by the people around me. It was almost a lark learning how to cover my hair with beautiful head coverings. This time, it's different. We are spending six months in Israel and Logan wants to go study in Yeshiva and he is encouraging me to study at a seminary. I am terrified of the idea that I will have to cover my hair for six months while in Israel. At this point in time I don't want to do it. I feel that if I cover my hair only in seminary or in synagogue and then walk around the community with my hair uncovered I will be seen as a hypocrite. I don't know how to reconcile these two concepts - covering my hair sometimes and not pretending to be someone I'm not. I don't want to give the impression I always cover my hair when I am open to only covering my hair sometimes. Also, this ties in with covering my hair, I don't know what to do about clothes while in Israel. I have full intention to dress modestly (down to my knees and to my elbows) while at synagogue and at a religious community; however, I don't intend to dress like that every day. How can I live among religious people and still maintain my identity?
3 Comments
Sasha
11/18/2013 03:01:07 pm
I was the kind of person that hated anything on her head, hats, etc. The only advice I can give you is that once you cover your hair for a while, you start feeling naked when it's uncovered. You get used to it. By the way, you look beautiful in this scarf.
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Sarah Leah
11/19/2013 04:03:31 am
Dont think of what's outside as your identity. Its you inside. Growing up we evolve and change out clothes and styles every year. I thought as a teen I would have a mohak and wear leather my whole life - then I turned into a hippy - now i'm a frum woman. Your identity should be who you are as a writer a mom a jew - I say Take the dive - cover your hair - I think its Rambam who says try something for 30 days strait to break a habit. Try it, you might like it and your identity wont change - you will still be a mom writer fabulous lady!! Have a great time in Israel - Not every one gets the chance to go learn with your family by your side.
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Rachel
1/17/2014 01:42:10 am
Can I ask what neighborhood you plan to live in? Some are orthodox but not as strict so you wouldn't feel strange wearing short sleeves and not covering your hair. While others are very strict and you cannot walk around there like that. I think you should take it slowly - if you feel moved to cover your hair you can but if you take it on without the proper forethought you may come to resent it.
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I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world. Archives
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