No one should have to bury their child.
The death of a child is inexplicable. There is no way to rationalize a child's death. Eight year old Leiby, almost 100 teenagers in Norway, all the children that die around the world of starvation, war and disease.
I watched a video on youtube yesterday (link) where the speaker attempted to come to terms with Leiby's death. My take home message from the video was God intentionally allowed Leiby to die. If this is true, then God also wanted the Holocaust to happen. And if that is true, then all the suffering and misery in the world is intentional. We are meant to suffer in this world.
We come into the world crying, hurting from our separation from our mothers. Our mothers cry out in agony as we appear. We sometimes rip their bodies apart to enter this life. We then spend the next year or so crying whenever we need anything. Our tears bring pain to our parents. We then go to school and deal with grades and classmates and teachers. I don't know anyone who doesn't have painful stories to share of their youth. We then become teenagers and suffer with teenage angst. Then young adults exploring ourselves and our relationships with our parents. We lose faith in our parents for a while as we realize they are human - they make mistakes and lose their demi-god status. Then we are adults and we find love and lose love. We lose one another. We marry. We have children. We may lose our children. God forbid.
No wonder it is so easy to be pessimistic. Life feels like the odds are stacked against you. And I am a privileged white girl in America. I have it easy for all the grief I've had in my life. How many minority people suffer open discrimination in this country? How many people around the world die from poverty and malnutrition? My worries would be meaningless to them. In their eyes I probably live like royalty.
I like to look at the world with rose colored glasses. I like to believe that we are meant to be happy and filled with joy. I like to think that death is unnecessary and people suffer out of random chance. Because, what's the point of praying to God if he wants you to suffer? I can't put the pieces together.
If the world was meant to be a place of suffering, why should I pray for the opposite? Why does God care? I don't have the answer and I'm not sure anyone really does. If God wants us to die, then how can I protect my child from dying? How can I fight with God's will?
Poor Leiby's parents lost their son. Their baby. Someone they created and raised for almost 9 years. God decided he was going to suffer and die at the hands of a disgusting vile creature. Why did this little kid deserve to die like this? Why would God plan this?
I'm of the belief that it is our role as Jews in this world to fight back. To tell God we are not okay with this kind of behavior. I don't know God's intent and frankly, I don't care. It's not right what he did to those parents and to our community. We don't need to suffer anymore. I think suffering is overrated. I think accepting this kind of world is selling ourselves short. I have and will continue to demand of God more and better. We deserve more and better. More love, more kindness, better lives. Less suffering, less death.
So, as always, I ask God to protect my family and the world.
Meet the Blogger!
I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world.
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