And I'm back

I can't believe it's been two months since I've written on this blog. My life has felt on pause for these past few months. I have fluctuated between throwing up in the bathtub, moaning in bed, sipping on Gatorade and swearing to everyone I know that I will NEVER get pregnant again.

Yes! I am pregnant thank God. Sadie will be getting a sibling this year. Now that the worse phase of my sickness is over I am already considering and accepting that I want more children, God willing. Oh and I am grateful for Zofran. Grateful for the miracle pill that allowed me to keep some food and liquids in my system.

I am 16 weeks as of this week.

I feel blessed to have the doctor of my dreams who supports my desire for a VBAC. He also supports having a doula and taking birthing classes. Essentially, he is the most amazing doctor I have ever met. I wish he could be my primary and my obgyn and my babysitter. He's that great. I'm not just a number; I'm a person with feelings and needs. Even if, God forbid, I end up with a C-section I will feel at peace knowing I had an amazing doctor who cared about all the details.

At my doctor's suggestion I am going to have a Birth Story Medicine session (http://prenatalyogawithshelley.com/bsm.html) with a Birthing From Within instructor. It's essentially 30 minutes of one-on-one counseling to help me deal with the trauma of my previous birth experience.

I am also on the hunt for a doula. The one doula I wanted is against circumcision. I believe everyone should have the right to their beliefs; however, circumcision is part of my religious beliefs and is a sign of the covenant between man and God. I don't want to have someone who will try to talk me out of the procedure. And even if she never voices her opinion, it will all be weird in my head and I will feel super uncomfortable if I have a boy and then I'll deal with guilt between fulfilling my religious expectations and pleasing my doula. So I'm at square one. My doctor recommended a few doulas he enjoys working with and a friend of mine asked me to call her to discuss her experience with doula hunting.

I have a few other things I'm working on that I will share as time goes by.

It's good to be back.