I saw my OB today. I tortured him for an hour with questions from a list I wrote this morning. He patiently and kindly answered all my questions. He reminded me several times to think positively and look at pregnancy/birth as a wonderful miracle that is special and beautiful. He is absolutely right - I don't know when I became such a "cup half-empty" person. I used to be optimistic hoping for the best and now I worry about all the things that could go wrong. I'm finding it harder and harder to find my positive side. Perhaps this pregnancy and birth can be my journey to becoming optimistic again.
On a separate note, I want to share my list of questions, the doctor's response is in parenthesis:
1. Have you ever lost a patient? An infant?
(When I asked the question he looked really serious and slightly unnerved. He quietly responded "no to both". He said he felt like he should knock on wood now. Then he nervously laughed)
2. How can I reach you? (I was given his cellphone number.)
3. What is your opinion on nail polish while pregnant? (Since I am already in the second trimester and all of the baby's organs have been developed, he doesn't see a problem with nail polish.)
4. Why do you like the doulas you recommend? Would you be offended if I picked someone else? Opinion on specific doula I'm interested in. (They are all very nice and he has worked with a lot of them so they work well together. Doula ____ is great too!)
5. IV during labor? Food during labor? (Only that I need to have a heplock and I can eat stuff like jello and drink clear fluids.)
6. What do you do to prevent ripping? (Controlled pushing. Other techniques to help prevent tearing. Recommended massaging perineum after 36 weeks with some olive oil.)
7. Do I have to wear the heart monitor at all times? (Yes, hospital policy.)
8. If I need a C-Section what are the protocols? Policies? Put under? Past issues with epidural. (We didn't really get into a good discussion about a potential C-Section since it depends a lot on the situation. An emergency C-Section takes away a lot of choices, something I'm aware of.)
Afterwards I apologized about being neurotic and he told me it was not a problem and I could ask him any questions I wanted to. He encouraged me to deal with my birth trauma from my previous experience to help me see the next 20 weeks as a time of joy.
Sadly my experience with Sadie's birth has taken away a lot of the joy I should be feeling in this pregnancy. On some level I almost ignore the baby inside me out of fear that this birth could kill either one of us. My OB is right. The next 20 weeks are very special. The ability to create a life is a miracle and a gift. In 20 weeks I most likely (GOD WILLING) will be holding my little baby in my arms. I will be part of the beautiful process of creation. My body will create and carry the next generation. It's a beautiful gift.
Once again I am reminded how lucky I am to have my OB.
Meet the Blogger!
I'm a mom. A writer. A lover of good fantasy. A proponent of nursing when possible. A birth advocate. I am absolutely horrible at keeping my house clean or the dishes washed or the laundry done. I strongly believe in women having a positive birth. When we start to respect women's rights to birth the way they want, we can start to treat women as equal people in this world.
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